Tuesday, April 23, 2013

I'd like to thank all the little people...



A standing ovation.

"I'd like to thank all the little people who made this possible, otherwise known as:  my children.  Without them, I would have no crazy, embarrassing, you've-got-to-bo-kidding-me stories to blog about and wouldn't be receiving the Epically Awesome Award of Epic Awesomeness.  

"And to Menopausal Mother, the blogging legend, who decided there is soemthing worth reading in all of my blahty-blah-blah. She has bestowed this award on me, and coming from her, the Eh, You're Kind Of Ok award would be humbling. 

"And to my readers, my fans, my loyal Black Sheep-ers, I thank you from the baa-tom of my heart."  (see what I did there? Huh?)

Thank you, Meno Mama, for giving me this award; I'm honored.  The rules are: 

1.  Display award logo
2.  Link back to the person who nominated you
3.  State 10 things about you
4.  Nominate 10 other bloggers

Ten things about Black Sheep Mom:

1.  I'm a major coffee addict.  Somehow, it can wake me up when I'm tired, but also relax me when I'm stressed.  Good stuff.

2.  I babysit my nephew 3 days a week. He is one month and one day older than my youngest son. So 21 and 20 months.  They are very different in personality but equally adorable.  Mad props to mothers of multiples; holy. crap.

3.  I got married the first time when I was 18.  Cuz 18 year olds make great life long decisions.  Hence the phrase "the first time".

4.  Some people call me sarcastic.  I prefer to think of it as comedic irony.

5.  My favorite flowers are roses and tulips.

6.  My kids are extensively involved in team sports, of which I never played any.  I was more of a dance, gymnastics, ice-skating kinda kid. 

Getty Images

7.  I live 2 miles from where I grew up.

8.  I loooooove summer, and can't stand winter.

9.  It can be challenging raising multi-racial kids in a predominately white community.  During an 8th grade basketball game my son was called the 'N' word.  Hell hath no fury like a mama who's child has been called a racial slur, let me tell ya. 

10.  Friendships are very important to me.  No matter how great your husband, kids, mother is, a woman needs her girlfriends!

And now, to nominate some Awesome bloggers!

Baking in a Tornado
Real Mom of NJ
Outsmarted Mommy
Delectably Dawn
Life on the SONny Side
Big A little a

Go give them a read!

***Edited because I'm a moron:
Back on April 3, Karen over at Baking in a Tornado nominated me for the Beautiful Mama Blog Award. This means a ton to me because Karen is like my blogging idol, and I'm blessed to say, friend.  But I promptly forgot all about the nomination, to the point that it was like brand new information to my over-worked, under-staffed brain.  So Karen, I apologize, and gratefully accept this fabulous award!

Now I list 3 things I love about motherhood, then nominate some other great folks:
I love:
1.  The ability the kids have to make me smile even on the worst of days.
2.  That a hug around the knees is just as enveloping and loving as a bear hug.
3.  Hearing compliments on my children's personalities, character, and manners. Even better than compliments on sports achievements or high grades.
And I pass this on to:
<3 <3

Thursday, April 11, 2013

Secret Subject Swap April -Take Two!

It's time for April's second Secret Subject Swap!  This week 12 brave bloggers were assigned a subject to interpret and write about in their own style, while also coming up with a secret topic for someone else to write about.  Today we are all simutaneously divulging our topics and submitting our posts.  This is really a fun activity to participate in; if you haven't tried it, get in touch with Karen at Baking In A Tornado who is the mastermind of the whole shebang!  Here's a list of everybody participating this week; check them all out and let them know how you liked what they came up with:

My subject is "If you were only allowed one more vacation in your life, where would you go and what would you do?"  It was submitted by Home On Deranged, who's getting hit with a little extra winter right now.  Make sure you bring some hot chocolate when you go over and read her post!
One. Last. Vacation.
Ok, fine, one. 
My first reaction to this question was pure selfishness; I pictured me on a beach, by myself, reading and soaking up the sun, tropical drink in hand.  No kids.  Not even anybody else's kids.  A kid free island. 
                                    Yeah, in my beach dream I'm skinny too. So what.
I would spend my time lying in the sand, enjoying the peace and quiet, and doing this thing I've heard of that I've always wanted to try:  relaxing.  No big adventures for me; a little shopping, lunches that don't come with toys, and the breeze in my hair (clean hair, I might add, because I can take a shower whenever I want to, not just at nap time). 
But that's the today me, the 'stay at home mom stuck in the house with a toddler and only getting out to run my teenagers around everywhere' me.  If I take a step back, and really think about planning my very last vacation, I'd actually want my kids with me.
Yes I said that.  No I haven't been drinking.  (Ok, one glass of wine but that doesn't count.)
My kids are pretty fun to hang out with.  They have great senses of humor and are really mastering the art of sarcasm. If you've got something to keep them busy, they get along and actually enjoy each others' company.  I know families that have their kid(s) invite a friend along on every vacation so the kid has someone to hang out with and play with.  My kids are close to each other.  It wouldn't even occur to me to bring extras along because it's unnecessary.  They're friends as well as siblings.  And I love that.
Yes they fight like cats and dogs, but that's normal (unfortunately).  But I can just picture them on this idyllic beach with me and the hubs, wind surfing and building giant sand castles.  Going shopping and thinking the most touristy, plastic wad of junk is just the best thing to buy and bring home and show off. 
They'd explore and run and play.  Even the teens, who are sometimes too cool for that stuff at our local lake.  They'd spread out their beach towels next to each other and warm up in the sun after swimming so long their hands look like wrinkled prunes. 
And at night, when we went back to our hotel  beach house (hey, last vacation right?) they'd all grab their blankets and have a big camp out on the living room floor, actually agreeing on a movie to watch, and having a snack without causing the floor to look like a popcorn-carpet.  There'd be no school or work in the morning to worry about; no phone calls to be made, bills to be paid, or homework to be struggled through. We'd enjoy each other.  The way we forget to when life gets in the way.  When we're so busy we overlook each other.  When we're stressed and we snap at each other.  When we're bored and we pick at each other.  
And I'd grab a book and a tropical drink, sit out on the patio with the only man crazy enough to marry a woman with 6 kids, and think "this is the life".   And maybe "shit, did we remember to ask someone to feed the dog??"                                            

Thursday, April 4, 2013

Stress = Corn Dogs

I've been slacking on my blogging lately; nothing has been inspiring me enough to get off my butt go to the computer and actually write down my thoughts.

Well, last night I got some inspiration.  Or rather, I got so freakin frustrated that it was either vent here or call one of y'all for bail money.

We have a crazy schedule around here.  It changes almost daily.  5 of the kids are playing sports, all on different teams.  One of them has 2 different sports over-lapping.  And practice times change depending on gym availability, weather, how much the coaches hate me... No sir, not really.  But sometimes it feels like they have secret meetings about how best to F with the Black Sheep family.  "Let's leave only a 6 minute break between softball and basketball  practice. Let's say we're done at 5:00 but not let the kids out until 5:40.  Let's schedule softball and baseball games at the same time in different towns so the mom has to choose which kid she's going to watch; that ought to start some nice bickering in their house, mwah ha ha ha......"   <<stress>>

So last night I was running around doing the pick up/drop off/pick up/drop off routine, with the added bonus of having a Sports Boosters meeting to go to (of which I am the vice-president. Dammit.)  I couldn't figure out how to get the 13 year old picked up from basketball practice when I would already be at the meeting, and possibly running it.  So she didn't go to practice.  And for some reason that bothered me greatly.  I HATE not being able to do it all.  People often comment to me:  "I don't know how you do it!  So many kids involved in so many things, you must be supermom!"  So when I can't figure out how to do everything at the same time, I feel like I'm failing.  I feel like I'm letting a kid down if I'm not at their Everything. So I was stressing about that.  <<stress>>

At the meeting I was a little on edge because there was someone there that I had had a bad experience with years ago regarding one of my sons. He clearly didn't remember who I was, but I knew him. I also had brought my 11 year old to the meeting with me because there wasn't time to bring him home after baseball and get back to the meeting on time. So he was sitting to the side doing homework and behaving very well; I just kept checking on him, waiting for him to misbehave (which he didn't). <<stress>>

I got out of the meeting about 8pm.  I realized that I had forgotten to tell the hubs that there was something in the freezer that he could cook for dinner. Surely he could figure that out on his own.  Surely he would look through the kitchen and make sure the kids got dinner. It was 8 at night on a school night.


I texted him to ask if anyone had eaten and his response was "Don't believe so".  So not only did he not make anything for dinner, he didn't even tell the kids to find something or suggest sandwiches or anything. Nothing. Nada. Nichts. (That's nothing in German. I felt this paragraph needed a German word to properly convey the situation.)  <<stress>>

So I had to go to the grocery store at 8 at night to get something for dinner.   <<stress>

Corn dogs it is.

Nutritional value:  nichts
My level of caring: also nichts

Corn dogs are pretty nasty, I think, but the kids love them.  And they were quick and there was a large size box (complete necessity in a household the size of mine.  I got 2 large boxes.  And chips.)

Having a healthy hearty dinner was a complete fail.  But I don't think that was my fail; it was the hubs' fail. 

Right?  RIGHT??

I was pretty flippin frustrated, as evidenced by the way I didn't speak to anyone and just immediately started nuking corn dogs and opening bags of chips.  "Come eat guys; it's almost bedtime..." I called, not at all trying to make a point.   <<stress>>

In conclusion, stress = corn dogs.