Thursday, October 3, 2013

Swapiversary Blog Hop and Contest!

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Thank you so much for stopping by this week's Blog Strut #12 - The Special Swapiversary Edition! Our Linky Parties are always rule-free! There are a set of guidelines below but they are just that, guidelines! We want you to post what you want, share what you want, and not have to do anything in return but share the bloggy love!

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Secret Subject Swap - Swapiversary!

We need your vote! Today the Secret Subject Swap is joining the Blog Strut for a very special occasion. It is the one year anniversary of the Swap and we’re celebrating with a Strut!

The Secret Subject Swap is a challenge open to all bloggers. It’s meant as an exercise to push our writing boundaries. Each participant sends in a writing prompt and is secretly assigned someone else’s prompt. Two weeks later, on an assigned day and time, we all divulge the subject we received, who it came from, and publish our posts linking to each other.

And now on the one year Swapiversary we want you to tell us, who is the Queen of the Swap? Read them all and strut back here to cast your vote. Who will win the Award? It’s all in your hands!

Queen of the Swap

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October Secret Subject Swap, 1st Swapaversary! - "Hello, my name is Hypocrite."

So pretty much everyone that's ever heard the word 'blog' knows about the Secret Subject Swap. If you don't, allow me to school ya: It's when several bloggers pick a secret subject for someone else and are assigned a secret subject to interpret in their own style. Then we all simultaneously divulge our topics and submit our posts. It was started one year ago this month by Karen from Baking In A Tornado. She is an amazing, fantastical blogger and person, and I want to wish her the happiest of Swap Anniversaries! 

This time around 12 bloggers participated and I highly suggest you check out each of the posts (after you read mine of course!). I'll put everyone's links at the end.

My topic is:  "Halloween: Worst/Best costume ever."  It was submitted by The Insomniacs Dream. Definitely check out her writing after reading the swaps.
Here goes: 
*****

Sit back and get ready for a tale of deceit and deception. Of hiding and sneaking. Of a mom breaking the rules.

Yes, that mom was me. For reasons I will decline to get into here, I made the decision 15 years ago not to have our family celebrate Halloween. We ignored it every year. We didn't do trick or treating or parties or dressing up. Nothing.

Well, except for that one year. That I did. 

It was in my post-divorce, swingin single, losing my mind  exploring my freedom period.  That also, is a whole other story  *wink* .  A friend of mine who was also a single mom exploring this "time for yourself" theory we had heard so much about, invited me to a Halloween party at this great night club not far from where we lived. That in and of itself is a small miracle, that there was anyplace worth going to in our small, out of the way area. Anywho, this place apparently had pretty epic Halloween parties. Two dance floors, two bars, the best DJ in the area, and oh the costumes!

But wait, how could I go to a Halloween party? I didn't allow Halloween in our family. How hypocritical of me to even think about it. Dress up in a costume, go to a place packed with people and amazing dance music, alcohol flowing.....  Screw it, I'm going.

Thus began my quest to get to this fabulous Halloween party, without my kids knowing.

At work I searched online for a costume. I mean during my breaks I did. Not during work hours, psshh, that would be wrong. Psshh.  Can I just say that trying to find a woman's costume that is not off the Playboy bunny runway is tantamount to nailing jello to a tree? So I did the best I could and settled for a 'sexy' costume, instead of straight up slutty. It was a referee. Not very original I guess, but I didn't know that because I hadn't dressed up for Halloween in two decades. It had a minidress, black and white stripes with a black skirt, and tall white socks with stripes at the top. I had a pair of black high heeled mary-janes that looked similar to the girl's in the catalog picture so I wore those. And it had a whistle.

But how was I going to explain to my kids what I was wearing? Well, I did what any stressed-out-needs-a-night-away-just-let-me-go mother would do:  I shoved my costume in a bag, and went to my friend's house to dress there, and drove to the party with her. I told you, sneaky.

Now comes the part where I tell you that I got to the party and just couldn't have fun, because I felt guilty. That I sat in the corner by myself because I felt foolish in my costume, hated the music, and didn't know anybody. Well, I can't tell you that; because I had FUN!! I danced, and had a few drinks, and hung out with people I knew, and danced some more. The stress of being a single working mom had slimmed me down and I felt confident in that costume. Confidence was not something I was particularly used to, and you know what? It felt good. And the music was awesome and guys were asking me to dance. And asking "Hey can I 'blow your whistle'? Duh huh huh".  *eye roll*




So was this my worst Halloween costume? Or best?

I'm not proud of doing something that involved me sneaking around like a teenager in lust. But - I really had an amazing time, making memories that help me to not feel like such an old fuddy-duddy when it's 9pm on a Saturday night and I'm in my pj's with my Nook. I can say "I was cool once, not too long ago, and kind of a bad-ass, and the world didn't end! It was great!"

So I'm leaning toward Best.

*******


http://BakingInATornado.com                              Baking In A Tornado
http://themomisodes.com/                                  The Momisodes
http://www.justalittlenutty.com/                          Just A Little Nutty
http://mooreorganizedmayhem.blogspot.com/       Moore Organized Mayhem
http://crazyasnormal.com                                     Crazy As Normal
http://singlemumplusone.blogspot.com                   Searching for Sanity
http://www.homeonderanged.com                         Home on Deranged
http://dawnsdisaster.blogspot.com                        Dawn’s Disaster
http://www.theinsomniacsdream.com/                 The Insomniac’s Dream
http://www.outsmartedmommy.com                    Outsmarted Mommy
http://www.bethteliho.wordpress.com/                  Writer B is Me

Make sure to come back after 8pm EST tonight thru Sunday to vote for your favorite SSS post and to join in The Blog Strut linky party!

~*~*~*~*HAPPY SWAPAVERSARY KAREN, MY FRIEND! YOU ARE THE BEST!~*~*~*~*
 



Friday, September 13, 2013

Secret Subject Swap, Sept. - Take 2!

It's Swap time! Round 2 of September's Secret Subject Swap! This week, 11 brave bloggers have submitted a secret subject and received one in return to write about in their own style.

I received my subject from Outsmarted Mommy , who is one wonderful lady! If you haven't checked out her blog, I'll tell ya, she's funny and sweet and real and interesting and smart and------ you should just go check her out!  My subject is:

"What is your biggest regret in life and why?"
 
 
My biggest regret?  Hmm.  Could it be:
 
*the time I ate that whole package of raw cookie dough and got food poisoning? I have never been so sick in my life. And I had a couple month old baby who was breastfeeding. Yes, please stretch yourself out across my stomach while I sit still and try not to vomit on your cute little head. I ended up dehydrated and in the ER.
                                                                  
Or maybe:
 
*on my wedding night, when I thoroughly scrubbed my eyes with eye makeup remover pads, only to quickly and intensely realize they were not, in fact, made for eyes. They were just regular face scrubbing soap. I spent 10 minutes in the bathroom rinsing my eyes out with cold water, jumping up and down at the burning, and hoping my new hubby wouldn't come knocking on the door to see what was taking his oh-so intelligent new wife so long.
 
Or:
 
*when building our first house, when the oldest of all the kids was only 8, and I decided to get white linoleum in the kitchen. Yes, I hear you all collectively *face palming* yourselves. Brilliant idea, wasn't it? I really loved how it brightened up the whole room, and I thought to myself: "I'm not going to not get it because I'm afraid of it getting dirty. I will just have to mop everyday and it will be fine! It will help motivate me to keep up".  Um, no. I don't care how much you mop, you cannot keep a white floor clean with 6 kids and a dog. In a tiny house. Where the main entrance/exit is in that room. You just can't. All the daily mopping accomplished was stripping the shine right off the floor, so then it was dirty and dingy. Excellent.
 
Or maybe it was the time I blogged about 3 really embarrassing things I did and people read about it........

****

Make sure to check out each of the other bloggers in this week's swap; they're all excellent:


http://BakingInATornado.com                            Baking In A Tornado
http://hypnoticbard.blogspot.com/                     The Insomniac’s Dream
http://annisbubble.blogspot.com                         Anni’s Bubble
http://www.mypersonalaccent.com                     My Personal Accent
http://www.outsmartedmommy.com                    Outsmarted Mommy 
http://www.homeonderanged.com                        Home on Deranged
http://www.eviljoyspeaks.wordpress.com                        Evil Joy Speaks  http://dates2diapers2.blogspot.com                                 Dates 2 Diapers
http://www.rocksnosaltmommy.com/                      Rocks, No Salt Mommy
http://themomisodes.com                                  The Momisodes

Wednesday, August 21, 2013

I'm Squirreltastic!

Apparently, I'm kinda squirreltastic. Or so says Menopausal Mother, who created an awesome Squirrely Blogger Award and presented me with one!

                                                                


Meno Mama loves squirrels because they're "ridiculously cute, nutty, and quirky".  I like to think that she gave me this award because I'm ridiculously cute, but I'm thinking the "nutty" part is probably more accurate. Whatever :)

The way it works is to list 7-10 quirky things about yourself, then pass on the award to 7-10 other squirrely bloggers.  So without further ado:

7 SQUIRRELY FACTS ABOUT BLACK SHEEP MOM:

1.  I have been pregnant 7 times, birthed 7 babies, and now also have 2 step-sons. Yet whenever I hold someone's newborn, my heart and my uterus try to brainwash my logic and whisper "one more...".


 
2. I must drink HOT coffee in the morning. Even in 101 degree July heat, I have to have hot coffee when I first wake up, not iced. It's not the same.


 
3.  I drove a minivan for 14 years. F-o-u-r-t-e-e-n. Recently I got an SUV and I feel 50 times cooler ;)

4.  I am terrified of a certain creature. Terrified to the level that I won't even type the word. Suffice it to say it lives outside, lots of times in gardens, or in the desert under rocks. Not a bug. Rhymes with rake.

5.  My least favorite chore is hand washing dishes. Loading or unloading the dishwasher isn't bad, but washing by hand I hate.



6.  I love to go out dancing, but unless I've imbibed in a few cocktails, my booty does not leave the chair. After a few margaritas though, watch out Michael Jackson!

7.  I firmly believe that a new pair of shoes makes everything better.



SQUIRRELY BLOGGERS I'M NOMINATING  FOR THIS AWARD:

I Like Beer and Babies
Momchalant
Sorry Kid, Your Mom Doesn't Get Along With Others
Crazy As Normal
Indian American Mom
The Plucky Procrastinator
Life on Peanut Layne
Evil Joy Speaks

Friday, August 16, 2013

August Secret Subject Swap - Take Two! A million smackeroos!

It's time for the second August Secret Subject Swap! This week, 13 brave bloggers picked a secret subject for someone else and were assigned a secret subject to interpret in their own style. Today we are all simultaneously divulging our topics and submitting our posts.



My secret subject is:  "You win $1,000,000 but can't keep 1 single penny of it. Who do you give it to and what do you hope for them to do with it?"   It was submitted by That Suburban Momma.  Check out her blog, she's got lots of good stuff to say and you'll enjoy it!

************************************************
 
I love this subject! Love love love.  I have actually thought about this many times. Ok, not the 'I can't keep 1 single penny part', but who I would share with if I was a millionaire.

Part of what sucks about being "low-income" for me, is not being able to give to all the places I want to, and help all the people I would like to help. And for some reason if we happen to have a little extra money, I'm scared of what 'might' happen down the road so maybe I shouldn't give it away. I hate feeling like that.

But let's imagine that tomorrow I win a million dollars! One m.i.l.l.i.o.n. dollars! Sahh-weeet!! Usually the first thing I would do if I got a bit of unexpected money would be to go to Dunkin Donuts and buy a coffee. BUT--- not this time. This time, it would go to:

*The Alzheimer's Association.  A big fat donation to help find a cure for this terrible, awful disease. I have lost 3 grandparents to this disease, and my ex-father-in-law was diagnosed with it before he passed away from a heart attack. I used to help take care of my maternal grandmother before she went into a nursing home, and this damn disease is just mean. It robs people of the thing most precious; themselves. Their memories, their thoughts, their connections to others. And it is something that I am terrified of inheriting.

*The American Cancer Society.  Who doesn't know somebody that has battled cancer? I heard once that everyone, if they live long enough, will get cancer. I don't know if it's true or not, but I wouldn't be surprised if it is. My amazing, awesome uncle passed away from cancer not quite 2 years ago, only in his sixties. And my husband lost his father to cancer, at the age of 52, when my husband was only 28.

At our wedding reception, instead of those little favors at each place setting, the hubs and I decided to take the money we would have spent on chocolates or candles or personalized shot glasses and instead make a donation to the Alzheimer's Association and the American Cancer Society. We made up cards for each seat stating our plan.

 
 
*A pregnancy counseling center. I used to volunteer at one in my area, and it's staffed almost entirely by volunteers. It's a wonderful organization and I would love to give them a boost.
 
*Single moms. Either an organization that works with them, and/or some that I know personally. I was a single mom for about 6 or 7 years, after my divorce from my first husband, and that sh*t is hard! HARD. Not just financially, but every way you can imagine. Easing a single mom's financial burden though is at least one less thing she will have to worry about.
 
*Youth sports.  My kids have been involved in sports since about the age of 4. (If there were any programs for younger kids they would've joined earlier!) I can't say enough about the positive effect sports can have on kids. I know, I know, not always. The world is full of jack asses, and some of them make their way into the arena of athletics; but there are so many good, dedicated, unselfish people that give their time and energy to give kids a positive activity, and it has been a life saver in this household. Almost every athletic program costs money though, and we've been very blessed to be involved with a group that will not turn any child away due to lack of ability to pay. I'd love to be a part of that.
 
 
 
*Lastly, I would give money to family and friends that could use a hand. And people on the street. Did you ever hear about the guy that dressed as Santa at Christmastime and would walk down the street handing out hundred dollar bills from his own money? That sounds awesome to me.
 
Because giving IS better than receiving.
 
But can I at least get a coffee??
 
**************
 
Now hop on over to these other fabuloso bloggers and read what amazingness they have come up with!
 
http://BakingInATornado.com                            Baking In A Tornado
http://dawnsdisaster.blogspot.com                    Dawn’s Disaster
http://indianamericanmom.com                         Indian American Mom
http://www.homeonderanged.com                      Home on Deranged
http://coachdaddyblog.wordpress.com                  Coach Daddy
http://www.justalittlenutty.com/       Just A Little Nutty (Guest Post)           
http://www.itsyummi.com                                   It’s Yummilicious
http://dates2diapers2.blogspot.com                       Dates 2 Diapers
http://www.rocksnosaltmommy.com/                     Rocks, No Salt Mommy
http://crazyasnormal.com                                     Crazy As Normal
http://ibddaddyandme.blogspot.com/                    IBD, Daddy and Me!
www.thatsuburbanmomma.com                           That Suburban Momma

Sunday, July 21, 2013

Two year olds don't watch baseball

I spent the last 3 days at a baseball tournament for the 11 year old.  We were in a town about an hour and a half away and the team fundraised to cover the cost of 2 hotel nights for each family. It was me, the 11 year old, the 18, 14, 13, and almost 2 year old. Hubs couldn't go, it was the weekend of his first football game of the season.

So me and 5 kids.  Yeah.

100 degree heat.  Whoopeee.

The 11 year old spent the majority of the weekend either playing baseball, or exploring the hotel with his teammates, always ending up at the pool. The 14 year old thought he might die because he couldn't get the Playstation 3 he brought from home to work in the hotel room. (Yes, he packed the flippin PS3 and controllers and about 6 games. But forgot underwear.) The 18 and 13 year olds (both girls) fought over who was going to sleep where.  They were all always asking what and when we were going to eat. Good thing I planted that money tree in the backyard. ( <---sarcasm~)

But overall the 4 of them were pretty good.  The older 3 enjoyed watching their brother play ball, and were helpful when it came to unloading and loading the car.

The almost 2 year old, well, he's almost 2. And the phrase 'Terrible Twos' is bullshit, because technically he won't be 2 until next month and he is terrible as all get out.

He ran around the hotel room like somebody laced his binky with crack. He literally ran from one forbidden activity to the next.  Slam the cabinet doors, quick run and open the bathroom door, then run to the minifridge and pull out a soda, someone's coming throw it! Now run to the phone and pick it up yelling "Heyow? Heyow?" and push ALL the buttons.  All in 30 seconds. And the absolute best? He could open the door to the room and. get. out. And each time he tried it he got quicker and quicker at it. The last time he got out he ran so fast down the hall that I couldn't grab him and hold the door open so it locked behind me. Thank goodness one of the bigger kids was still in the room and let us back in.

At the fields the only part of the games he was interested in watching was his big brother hit the ball; anything before or after that he couldn't care less about.  He rolled in the dirt, throwing handfuls and thinking it was great when the wind took it away. Rocks were airborne too. He ran up and down (and up and down and up and down) the path between the bleachers and the concession stand. I apologized to about a gazillion people because he either almost ran into them or almost tripped them. And whenever I stopped him from doing one of these toddler escapades, I was rewarded with "NO! NO! NO! TOP IT! TOP IT!" at high volume.

So it wasn't the 19 innings of baseball that exhausted me, or the temperature hitting 101, or even the endless trips from the room to the car to the room to the car. It was a small 30 pound bundle of energy and mischief that had me asking Siri where the nearest liquor store was.

And oh yeah, the boys had to go and play all good and stuff, so we have to drive back there for another game tomorrow.

                                                      

Friday, July 19, 2013

Secret Subject Swap- July Take Two!

It's that wonderful time of the month again!  No, not that time, ew.  It's time for swapping subjects with crazy talented bloggers, and writing a post on our assigned subject.  I look forward to this every month, and if you're a blogger and would like to get in on it, just contact the super cool Karen at Baking In A Tornado.  She's the Swap creator and master.

This month, my prompt came from Just A Little Nutty , but not from Meg herself;  nope, this prompt came from Meg's daughter, who is guest posting on her mama's blog and participating in this month's Swap!  How awesome is that??  She sent in this super cool prompt:

**What if, in the basement of your house, you discovered a secret passageway?**
 
 
So here goes:
 
 
"Laundry is stupid.  I hate doing stupid laundry", I muttered to myself as I hauled yet another load of dirty clothes down the basement stairs to the washing machine.  "No really kids, go ahead and roll around in the dirt in your new shirt, and slide in the grass in those white shorts.  I don't mind, I loooove to scrub the stains out of every outfit you own.  It's what I live for." 
 
A couple of stairs down I stepped on one of the dog's squeaky toys, lost my balance, and dropped the laundry basket.  It thunked end over end down the stair case and landed with a thud against the wall at the bottom.  "See???  Stupid Laundry!!"  I yelled at the run away clothing, as I stomped down the rest of the stairs.  I  started refilling the laundry basket, rather forcefully.  As I walked a few feet away to pick up a sock ball that had made a break for freedom, I noticed that the wall it had rolled up against was a little bit sunken in.  "What in the world?"  I asked myself, wondering if termites could chew through cement. 
 
I kicked gently at the wall, and it started to give way.  The more I kicked, more and more of the wall crumbled.  After several minutes, there was an opening about 5 feet wide, and 5 feet high.  I whipped out my cell phone and turned on my flash light app (gotta love those free iphone apps).  Peering inside, I realized with a start that it was not just a hole in the wall, but a tunnel.
 
I had heard that the Underground Railroad had stops in this area.  I even knew of someone who lived in a house 3 blocks away that had a big plaque out front announcing that it had been a refuge for runaway slaves.  Could this tunnel be a part of that history?  In my house? 
 
Being the brave person that I am, I grabbed a broom and stuck it as far into the tunnel as I could  I ducked down and crept a few steps into the tunnel.  I shone my flashlight around and took in the cobwebs, the dirt floor, and the smell of musty earth.  Looking back over my shoulder at my 21st century basement, I crept forward while moving back in time.
 
I felt a rush of excitement, wonder, and yes some fear, as I moved steadily down the tunnel, 20, 50, 75 feet.  How long was this thing, anyway?
 
My foot kicked something solid.  "What the --?"  I looked down.  Just a rock.  But, wait; something was sticking out from under the rock.  Carefully I shone my light downward, trying to figure out what the yellowish square was.
 
Newspaper.
 
I moved the rock aside and gingerly picked up the scrap of paper.  I blew the dirt off of it, being careful not to ruin this relic that was 175 years old.  By the glow of the flashlight I began to read what I soon realized was an ad:
 
Runaway
From the subscriber, residing in Granville County, N.C.
on the 30th day of August last, a negro man by the
name of Jordan, and his wife Jane.
Jordan is a common size fellow, light black, large full eyes,
has a down look when spoken to, the 4th finger on his
right hand has grown crooked, by means of a cut. 
He carried with him wearing apparel and bed clothes,
among them is a suit of dark yarn jeans homespun cloth.
He wore off a pair of lined and bound right and left shoes,
nearly new.  The woman is a little under common size, and is
in a pregnant state.  She carried with her a purple
circassian dress, a white dress, a dark grounded calico dress,
and some homemade clothes.  I believe the said negroes
were seduced off by some infamous character, and they
will attempt to pass for free negroes.
I will give ten dollars for their delivery or confinement
in jail, in Granville or Wake, or twenty dollars, if out of
said counties, and thirty dollars for the detection and conviction
of any white person who has assisted them in getting off.
 
                                                               Clement Wilkins
                                              Sept. 10, 1838
 
 
 
                                                                         
                                    http://libcdm1.uncg.edu/cdm/singleitem/collection/RAS/id/1765



I stood stunned, unmoving for a moment, not quite believing what I was reading.  An actual newspaper ad, from 1838, which someone had posted in search of his runaway slaves.  Had these two slaves set out from North Carolina, heading north, following the Underground Railroad trying to reach freedom?  And was it possible that they traveled this tunnel, under MY house, leaving behind a clipping with their names in it, to let others know they had been there?  No, it couldn't be.  But here was the ad, in my hand, buried in the wall for almost two centuries.

Jordan and Jane.  Husband and wife.  Fleeing for their lives.  And Jane, pregnant!  My mother heart immediately went out to this woman, carrying a child within her, running for her life and that of her unborn baby.  And Jordan, the responsibility he must have felt; not only trying to free himself, but his young family as well.  Town to town, state to state, running; through all kinds of weather with clothing their only possessions, not knowing when or if they would eat; fear threatening to suffocate them around every corner.

Did they make it?  Make it to freedom?  Or were they caught, possibly jailed, and sent back to unspeakable horrors? 

I had to know.  These people had traveled through my home.  Someone here had helped them.  Had risked their very life to help others to safety.  They were part of my home, of my history, of me. 

I knew I needed to go on, farther down the tunnel, to see what else I could discover. To see what I could learn of Jordan and Jane. 

Carefully clutching the newspaper clipping, I crept forward.  Down and around a slight corner, sliding on the crumbling dirt, and then, there it was....


 **********************************    


I hope you enjoyed my Secret Subject Swap post!  Please go on over and check out all the other participants, you don't want to miss a single one!

 
http://BakingInATornado.com                                 Baking In A Tornado
http://dawnsdisaster.blogspot.com                         Dawn’s Disaster
http://crazyasnormal.com                                       Crazy As Normal
http://raising-reagan.com                                      Raising Reagan
http://aworkingmomswhoas.blogspot.com/              A Working Mom’s “Whoas”
http://indianamericanmom.com                              Indian American Mom
http://www.patiencejuice.com/                              Patience Juice
http://www.homeonderanged.com                          Home on Deranged
http://www.justalittlenutty.com/                            Just a Little Nutty (Guest Post)
http://www.itsyummi.com                                     It’s Yummilicious