May Secret Subject Swap - Take Two! ~Memories...

Welcome to Take Two of May’s Secret Subject Swap. This week, 11 brave bloggers picked  a secret subject for someone else and were assigned a secret subject to interpret in their own style. Today we are all simultaneously divulging our topics and submitting our posts. 

My Secret Subject is:  "What is your favorite Mother's Day gift you've gotten so far?"  It was submitted by The Momisodes.  If you haven't checked out her blog yet, you need to.  She's pretty frickin awesome.

I'm going to pull a classic mom move and talk about a gift from the heart that I received.  I honestly enjoy getting hand made cards and paper towel tube craft projects.  Anything that shows some effort.  I tell my kids that it really is the thought that counts.  That just because you didn't pay money for something, or don't have a gift to wrap up in a box, doesn't mean it's not special and thoughtful and appreciated. I try on a yearly basis to convince them that cleaning the kitchen or going a whole day without fighting would be an awesome gift for me.  Still waiting for either of those. 

(Side note:  if we're being honest here, I did get an awesome material gift a couple years ago from the hubs, a Keurig coffee maker.  Pretty sure I did a spastic happy dance for a couple straight hours over that one.)

One of my most memorable gifts was a Mother's Day breakfast in bed.  I don't remember exactly how old everyone was, but it was back in the days of my being a single mom, so I'm thinking the six of them ranged from about 3 to 13. 

Each of them had a job to do for the breakfast;  my middle son, probably about 6, was sent out to the yard to pick flowers to put in a little vase on my tray.  Now that I think about it, that may have been the year there was a pink ladyslipper in my vase.  Which, in our state anyway, are illegal to pick,  lol. 

 

 

 

My middle daughter (9 or 10 at the time) was in charge of making my coffee.  My pre-Keurig coffee.  Like, brewing a pot with grounds and water and everything.  Apparently it came out pretty........disgusting.  Because they sent my oldest son (11ish) down to the little store at the bottom of the hill to buy me a cup of coffee. 

 

For some reason, this was really touching to me.  They knew that coffee was my favorite part of breakfast,  and they worked hard to make some.  But it didn't meet their standards so they scrapped it, scrounged up enough change to buy a cup of coffee, and my son was willing and happy to walk to the store, then walk back with a hot cup in his hand. 

 

I remember lying in bed as they were preparing things and noticing that there was no fighting going on.  No yelling,  no "I'm telling Mom!"  Either they did a marvelous job of getting along, or they did a marvelous job of keeping the bickering quiet.  This is in and of itself a gift!  Moms of more than one kid, can I get an Amen?!

 

This year, my ex husband gave the 4 kiddos still living at home some money to buy me a little something for Mother's Day.  And no, Hell hasn't frozen over, I checked!  He must be working on his resume for Heaven or something.  Anyway, I drove them to the mall and they all walked around together, helping each other choose a gift and count money.  Again, a gift right there; anytime my kids pull together and do something as a team makes me smile.  It was really cool to see how excited they got over having something to wrap up and give me.  And I loved seeing how well they knew me by giving me stuff that I actually liked!  (Bath & Body lotion, a phone case, sunglasses, and a Mother/Daughter necklace set.)  The actual presenst weren't what warmed my heart, although they were great.  It was the fact that they put thought into what would make me happy, made the effort of picking out something, and helped each other like siblings should. 

 

So yeah, to me it really IS the thought that counts.  Whether it's the thought of 'which gift would mom like', or 'how burnt can this toast be and mom will still eat it?'

 

 



 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Go check out these other amazing bloggers and see what Secret Subject they got!

 

http://www.BakingInATornado.com Baking In A Tornado

http://hypnoticbard.blogspot.com/ The Insomniac’s Dream

http://dinoheromommy.com/ Dinosaur Superhero Mommy

www.thepursuitofnormal.blogspot.com The Pursuit of Normal

http://themomisodes.com/ The Momisodes

http://singlemumplusone.blogspot.com Searching for Sanity

http://mooreorganizedmayhem.blogspot.com/ Moore Organized Mayhem

www.dailydoseofdamn.blogspot.com Daily Dose of Damn

http://www.tinystepsmommy.com Tiny Steps Mommy

http://momrantsandcomfypants.wordpress.com Mom Rants and Comfy Pants

 



 





Eyewear Review!

I was happy to be asked by Firmoo to review a pair of their eyeglasses.  They are a global online optical store and sell glasses for men and women as well as prescription sunglasses.  I was pretty psyched to go online and pick out a pair, that's the fun part!  These are the ones I chose:



The ordering process is easy; First you choose your frames; there's tons of styles to choose from and each one gives you detailed measurements to help you know exactly how they will fit your face. You can also upload a photo of yourself and virtually "try them on".  There are lots of pictures of each pair of frames from every angle. Customer reviews are posted at the bottom which I always look for when buying something new.  People have also sent in photos of them wearing their glasses so you can see how they look on a regular person, not just the fashion models that look perfect in anything.

Next you enter in your prescription information (or choose no prescription if you'd like to buy a pair with zero power lenses just for fashion.  It's the 'hipster' thing thing to do).  There's tips on what to do if you don't have your prescription or if you need help reading and entering it.  Once you've filled in all of the options, it gives you a total price, which can vary based on things like lens thickness and optional add-ons like UV Coating.

Click Add To Cart and you're on your way to getting a new pair of glasses without having to leave your house!

Thanks Firmoo ! 
www.firmoo.com

I Didn't Do It!

Funny how some things start out so innocently. I left this comment on Karen of Baking in a Tornado's blog the last time she wrote about getting a blogging award:  "You should also get an I Didn't Kill My Teen-ager award as well".  Karen has 2 teen-agers and I have 5, so we know what we're talking about!

 

What we both didn't know was where that sentence would lead.  Because, let's face it, we parents do deserve awards for handling most of what we deal with on any given day.  Yet there is no such award, no trophy.  Why is that?

 

Well, there is one now.  And here it is:

 

 

 

 

The Triumph Trophy.  And we're not only accepting these trophies, but we're passing them on.  If you're a recipient, consider playing along!  Here are the rules:

 

1.  Display the Trophy in your post.

2.  Write a short piece that starts with:  I Didn't Kill  _________ Today.  It doesn't have to be a person, it can be an appliance, a business, or anything else you choose. 

3.  Nominate a few people and let them know it's their turn to vent.

 

So here's my Triumph:  I didn't kill my husband today. 

 

I  kinda wanted to, he really aggravated me.  We were getting ready to leave baseball and he said he would go to the grocery store and grab some stuff to cook on the grill. I asked him to also grab me a bottle of wine. 

Husband: <sigh>  <slumping shoulders>

Me:  What?

Husband: Well now I have to make 2 stops, 1 at the grocery store and 1 at the liquor store.  I hate doing that.

Me:  There's 1 grocery store that carries alcohol in it.

Husband:  Yeah but I wasn't going there. That one is all the way on the other side of town.  I was just going down the street  <whine>

Me:  Ok, that's fine, I can stop and grab a bottle while you're getting the food. No big deal, just say 'No'.

Husband:  I didn't want to tell you No (he never tells me No ;)  )

Me:  Well it's fine to tell me No sometimes.  No big deal.  Go get the food, I'll grab the wine.

 

He leaves, I leave and grab a bottle of pinot noir on my way home.  I take the baby for a walk around the block while we're waiting for Hubs to get back with dinner.  After some time, I get a text message from him:  "I'm at that other grocery store, what kind of wine did you want?"

 

............. seriously?!?!

 

But I didn't kill him.  I deserve a trophy. 

 

If you want to play, I nominate:

 

Menopausal Mother

 

Sorry kid, your mom doesn't play well with others

 

Outsmarted Mommy

 

And a new blogger I found and adore:  Mommy's Going Crazy

 

Stop by Baking in a Tornado and see who or what didn't get killed by Karen.  And of course who she nominated.

 

 

 





 

 





 



I'd like to thank all the little people...

Applause.

Cheers.

A standing ovation.

"I'd like to thank all the little people who made this possible, otherwise known as:  my children.  Without them, I would have no crazy, embarrassing, you've-got-to-bo-kidding-me stories to blog about and wouldn't be receiving the Epically Awesome Award of Epic Awesomeness.  

"And to Menopausal Mother, the blogging legend, who decided there is soemthing worth reading in all of my blahty-blah-blah. She has bestowed this award on me, and coming from her, the Eh, You're Kind Of Ok award would be humbling. 

"And to my readers, my fans, my loyal Black Sheep-ers, I thank you from the baa-tom of my heart."  (see what I did there? Huh?)



Thank you, Meno Mama, for giving me this award; I'm honored.  The rules are: 

1.  Display award logo
2.  Link back to the person who nominated you
3.  State 10 things about you
4.  Nominate 10 other bloggers

Ten things about Black Sheep Mom:

1.  I'm a major coffee addict.  Somehow, it can wake me up when I'm tired, but also relax me when I'm stressed.  Good stuff.

2.  I babysit my nephew 3 days a week. He is one month and one day older than my youngest son. So 21 and 20 months.  They are very different in personality but equally adorable.  Mad props to mothers of multiples; holy. crap.

3.  I got married the first time when I was 18.  Cuz 18 year olds make great life long decisions.  Hence the phrase "the first time".

4.  Some people call me sarcastic.  I prefer to think of it as comedic irony.

5.  My favorite flowers are roses and tulips.

6.  My kids are extensively involved in team sports, of which I never played any.  I was more of a dance, gymnastics, ice-skating kinda kid. 

Getty Images

 



7.  I live 2 miles from where I grew up.

8.  I loooooove summer, and can't stand winter.

9.  It can be challenging raising multi-racial kids in a predominately white community.  During an 8th grade basketball game my son was called the 'N' word.  Hell hath no fury like a mama who's child has been called a racial slur, let me tell ya. 

10.  Friendships are very important to me.  No matter how great your husband, kids, mother is, a woman needs her girlfriends!

And now, to nominate some Awesome bloggers!

Baking in a Tornado
Real Mom of NJ
Outsmarted Mommy
Delectably Dawn
Life on the SONny Side
Big A little a

Go give them a read!

***Edited because I'm a moron:
Back on April 3, Karen over at Baking in a Tornado nominated me for the Beautiful Mama Blog Award. This means a ton to me because Karen is like my blogging idol, and I'm blessed to say, friend.  But I promptly forgot all about the nomination, to the point that it was like brand new information to my over-worked, under-staffed brain.  So Karen, I apologize, and gratefully accept this fabulous award!

 

Now I list 3 things I love about motherhood, then nominate some other great folks:

 

I love:

1.  The ability the kids have to make me smile even on the worst of days.

 

2.  That a hug around the knees is just as enveloping and loving as a bear hug.

 

3.  Hearing compliments on my children's personalities, character, and manners. Even better than compliments on sports achievements or high grades.

 

And I pass this on to:

 

The Sadder But Wiser Girl

Adventures In Hickey Land

The Non-Martha Momma

 

<3 <3

 





Secret Subject Swap April -Take Two!

It's time for April's second Secret Subject Swap!  This week 12 brave bloggers were assigned a subject to interpret and write about in their own style, while also coming up with a secret topic for someone else to write about.  Today we are all simutaneously divulging our topics and submitting our posts.  This is really a fun activity to participate in; if you haven't tried it, get in touch with Karen at Baking In A Tornado who is the mastermind of the whole shebang!  Here's a list of everybody participating this week; check them all out and let them know how you liked what they came up with:

http://www.BakingInATornado.com

http://www.peanutlayne.com/

http://menopausalmother.blogspot.com/

http://sadderbutwiser.wordpress.com/

www.eviljoyspeaks.wordpress.com

www.theblacksheepmom.blogspot.com

http://lifeonthesonnyside.blogspot.com/             

www.homeonderanged.com

http://victoryrosevintage.wordpress.com

dates2diapers2.blogspot.com

http://badwordmama.blogspot.com/

http://mylifeaslucille.blogspot.com/

 

My subject is "If you were only allowed one more vacation in your life, where would you go and what would you do?"  It was submitted by Home On Deranged, who's getting hit with a little extra winter right now.  Make sure you bring some hot chocolate when you go over and read her post!

 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 

One. Last. Vacation.

 

One.

 

But-but-but---

 

Ok, fine, one. 

 

My first reaction to this question was pure selfishness; I pictured me on a beach, by myself, reading and soaking up the sun, tropical drink in hand.  No kids.  Not even anybody else's kids.  A kid free island. 

 

                                    Yeah, in my beach dream I'm skinny too. So what.

 

I would spend my time lying in the sand, enjoying the peace and quiet, and doing this thing I've heard of that I've always wanted to try:  relaxing.  No big adventures for me; a little shopping, lunches that don't come with toys, and the breeze in my hair (clean hair, I might add, because I can take a shower whenever I want to, not just at nap time). 

 

But that's the today me, the 'stay at home mom stuck in the house with a toddler and only getting out to run my teenagers around everywhere' me.  If I take a step back, and really think about planning my very last vacation, I'd actually want my kids with me.

 

Yes I said that.  No I haven't been drinking.  (Ok, one glass of wine but that doesn't count.)

 

My kids are pretty fun to hang out with.  They have great senses of humor and are really mastering the art of sarcasm. If you've got something to keep them busy, they get along and actually enjoy each others' company.  I know families that have their kid(s) invite a friend along on every vacation so the kid has someone to hang out with and play with.  My kids are close to each other.  It wouldn't even occur to me to bring extras along because it's unnecessary.  They're friends as well as siblings.  And I love that.

 

Yes they fight like cats and dogs, but that's normal (unfortunately).  But I can just picture them on this idyllic beach with me and the hubs, wind surfing and building giant sand castles.  Going shopping and thinking the most touristy, plastic wad of junk is just the best thing to buy and bring home and show off. 

 

They'd explore and run and play.  Even the teens, who are sometimes too cool for that stuff at our local lake.  They'd spread out their beach towels next to each other and warm up in the sun after swimming so long their hands look like wrinkled prunes. 

 

 

 

And at night, when we went back to our hotel  beach house (hey, last vacation right?) they'd all grab their blankets and have a big camp out on the living room floor, actually agreeing on a movie to watch, and having a snack without causing the floor to look like a popcorn-carpet.  There'd be no school or work in the morning to worry about; no phone calls to be made, bills to be paid, or homework to be struggled through. We'd enjoy each other.  The way we forget to when life gets in the way.  When we're so busy we overlook each other.  When we're stressed and we snap at each other.  When we're bored and we pick at each other.  

 

And I'd grab a book and a tropical drink, sit out on the patio with the only man crazy enough to marry a woman with 6 kids, and think "this is the life".   And maybe "shit, did we remember to ask someone to feed the dog??"                                            

 

 

 

 

 

 

Stress = Corn Dogs

I've been slacking on my blogging lately; nothing has been inspiring me enough to get off my butt go to the computer and actually write down my thoughts.

Well, last night I got some inspiration.  Or rather, I got so freakin frustrated that it was either vent here or call one of y'all for bail money.

We have a crazy schedule around here.  It changes almost daily.  5 of the kids are playing sports, all on different teams.  One of them has 2 different sports over-lapping.  And practice times change depending on gym availability, weather, how much the coaches hate me... No sir, not really.  But sometimes it feels like they have secret meetings about how best to F with the Black Sheep family.  "Let's leave only a 6 minute break between softball and basketball  practice. Let's say we're done at 5:00 but not let the kids out until 5:40.  Let's schedule softball and baseball games at the same time in different towns so the mom has to choose which kid she's going to watch; that ought to start some nice bickering in their house, mwah ha ha ha......"   <<stress>>

So last night I was running around doing the pick up/drop off/pick up/drop off routine, with the added bonus of having a Sports Boosters meeting to go to (of which I am the vice-president. Dammit.)  I couldn't figure out how to get the 13 year old picked up from basketball practice when I would already be at the meeting, and possibly running it.  So she didn't go to practice.  And for some reason that bothered me greatly.  I HATE not being able to do it all.  People often comment to me:  "I don't know how you do it!  So many kids involved in so many things, you must be supermom!"  So when I can't figure out how to do everything at the same time, I feel like I'm failing.  I feel like I'm letting a kid down if I'm not at their Everything. So I was stressing about that.  <<stress>>

At the meeting I was a little on edge because there was someone there that I had had a bad experience with years ago regarding one of my sons. He clearly didn't remember who I was, but I knew him. I also had brought my 11 year old to the meeting with me because there wasn't time to bring him home after baseball and get back to the meeting on time. So he was sitting to the side doing homework and behaving very well; I just kept checking on him, waiting for him to misbehave (which he didn't). <<stress>>

I got out of the meeting about 8pm.  I realized that I had forgotten to tell the hubs that there was something in the freezer that he could cook for dinner. Surely he could figure that out on his own.  Surely he would look through the kitchen and make sure the kids got dinner. It was 8 at night on a school night.

Wrong.

I texted him to ask if anyone had eaten and his response was "Don't believe so".  So not only did he not make anything for dinner, he didn't even tell the kids to find something or suggest sandwiches or anything. Nothing. Nada. Nichts. (That's nothing in German. I felt this paragraph needed a German word to properly convey the situation.)  <<stress>>

So I had to go to the grocery store at 8 at night to get something for dinner.   <<stress>

Corn dogs it is.

Nutritional value:  nichts
My level of caring: also nichts

Corn dogs are pretty nasty, I think, but the kids love them.  And they were quick and there was a large size box (complete necessity in a household the size of mine.  I got 2 large boxes.  And chips.)

Having a healthy hearty dinner was a complete fail.  But I don't think that was my fail; it was the hubs' fail. 

Right?  RIGHT??

I was pretty flippin frustrated, as evidenced by the way I didn't speak to anyone and just immediately started nuking corn dogs and opening bags of chips.  "Come eat guys; it's almost bedtime..." I called, not at all trying to make a point.   <<stress>>

In conclusion, stress = corn dogs.

                                                              

Secret Subject Swap, March - Take Two!

It's that time again, Secret Subject Swap time! 

                                                           

I love doing these, if you haven't tried it you need to! Karen from Baking In a Tornado is in charge and she will help you get started. Go ahead, contact her, you know you want to.

 

This week 13 bloggers picked a secret subject for someone else and were each assigned a secret subject to interpret in their own style. Put your feet up and check out everyone's posts! :

 

 

www.BakingInATornado.com

http://www.justalittlenutty.com/

http://suburbiainterrupted.com

http://mooreorganizedmayhem.blogspot.com/

http://www.comeplayinthekitchen.com/

http://www.bigaandlittlea.com

http://www.themommyref.blogspot.com/

http://www.100lbCountdown.com

http://www.findingfelicity.com

www.eviljoyspeaks.wordpress.com

http://caramelliving.blogspot.com/

adventuresinhickeyland.blogspot.com

 

My subject is "...and then you woke up and realized it was all a dream..." submitted by Suburbia Interrupted , who is one amazing chick if you ask me. If you haven't read her stuff, start with the secret subject post and keep reading!

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I have a friend who loves to try and figure out what dreams mean. She has a dream interpretation book and uses it all the time.  So I thought to myself: Self, let's try and analyze these oddball nocturnal musings.  Ok, I don't really talk like that, it was more like: What the hell did that stupid dream mean?!  So I found a great site called Dream Moods and decided to look up a few dreams that I've had. 

 

~Flavor Flav

Yes, I had a dream with Flavor Flav in it.  No, I was not doing acid.  This was years ago but I still remember it because it was so random and weird. Not only was the Public Enemy member in my dream, but we were flirting and I think maybe (gag) kissing.  WTH?  Have you ever seen Flavor Flav?  Here:

 

 

 

You're welcome.

 



So when I went to Dream Moods, I had to pick a category. ' Freakish Rap Stars of the 90's' was not a category, so I went with 'Celebrities': 

 

To dream that you are kissing or having sex with a celebrity indicates your drive to be successful. Consider what qualities or movies you associate this celebrity with or what makes this celebrity famous for clues as to where and what you want to achieve success in. Alternatively, the dream may just represent your fascination or obsession with this particular celebrity. 









Ok, I don't even know how to begin picking that the F apart!  I do not know what I  would want to achieve based on Flavor Flav; gold teeth?  A big ass clock necklace?  Yelling "Yeah Boyee!" all the damn time?  Mostly I just want to achieve showering, fitting into my pre-baby jeans, and getting the kids to go 5 minutes IN A ROW without fighting . Maybe I should just go with the gold teeth; easier to accomplish. 

 

The alternative, a "fascination or obsession" with this celebrity is also oh-so-wrong.  Tupac? Yes. LL Cool J?  Mama likey.  Flavor Flav?  Hells to the No.

 

 

~Punching

 

I have this reoccuring dream, ever since middle school, that I'm so pissed at someone that I'm gonna kick their butt.  But when I try to punch them, it's like this force holds back my fist, and as hard as I try to swing, my arm moves in slow-motion and never makes contact.  It frutrates the crap out of me in my dream.  So I figured I would look that one up. Gotta figure out why in my dreams I feel like Muhammad Ali, but fight like Angelina Ballerina.

 

 

 

Dream Moods has 'Punching' as a category.  It tells me: 

 

To dream that you are unable to throw a punch indicates that you are feeling helpless. You may have self-esteem and confidence issues. The dream may also be due to REM paralysis.

 



Whoa, nelly.  That one kinda hits home.  I do have self-esteem and confidence issues, always have.  I was a very shy kid, and I've gotten over some of that but not all of it.  If I seem confident at all, it's usually a front.  There's definitely some things I'm confident about, but as a person in general, eh, not so much. Being in a marriage where your significant other puts you down constantly can really do a number on your self esteem, too. [ My first marriage, I mean; this second one is soo the opposite :) ]

 

Now "REM paralysis", what the poop is that?  I've heard of REM, a cycle of sleep, and I was going to google that phrase. Then I remembered who I am, and that if it said anything remotely worry-worthy about my sleeping patterns, I would never sleep again, convinced I would die before I wake.  So yeah, skipping over that part. 

 

Lastly:

 

~Teeth falling out

 

Another weirdo dream I have a lot is my teeth falling out.  Like it'll just be a regular day, and all of a sudden Plunk, one of my teeth unattaches from my gums and lands in the bottom of my mouth.  Ew.  Gross.  And stupid, right? Who dreams about their teeth?

 

 

Apparently, it's one of the most common dreams that Dream Moods gets asked about. 

 

One theory is that dreams about your teeth reflect your anxieties about your appearance and how others perceive you. Your teeth help to convey an image of attractiveness and play an important role in the game of flirtation, whether it is flashing those pearly white, kissing or necking. Thus, such dreams may stem from a fear of rejection, sexual impotence or the consequences of getting old. To support this notion, a dream research found that women in menopause report to have frequent dreams about teeth. This points to teeth dreams as being related to getting older and/or feeling unattractive and less feminine. Teeth are an important feature to your attractiveness and how you are presented to others. Caring about how you look is natural and healthy.

Another rationalization for these falling teeth dreams may be rooted in your fear of being embarrassed or making a fool of yourself in some situation. These dreams are an over-exaggeration of your worries and anxieties. Perhaps you feel that you are unprepared for the task at hand. However, you will find that your worries are unfounded in most cases. Sometimes what plays out in your mind is far worse than what is

 

Once I stopped laughing over the use of the word 'necking', I realized that this too is pretty right on.  I do worry about my appearance, especially my weight, and am having a heck of a time accepting the fact that I'm getting older.  oldER, not old, got it?  Right. So. Moving on...

 

I also do get really tight-assed about embarassing myself and looking stupid.  I've sat out of many activities because I was afraid I would look like a doofus and embarass myself.  I really envy people that just jump in and try new things, and hey if it works it works, if not, it was fun to try!  I'm trying to work on that, and realize that the world won't end if I don't do everything perfectly, and that laughing and saying Wow, I really suck at this! is better than sitting in the corner being afraid and self conscious.

 

 

With the Flavor Flav kissing and the Muhammad/Angelina brawling and the fang-falling,  I'm always glad to wake up and realize it was all a dream.