Friday, February 1, 2013

Human garbage disposals

"Mom I'm hungry!"
"There's nothing to eat!"
"Are you gonna go shopping?"
"What can I haaaaave?!"
"I'm starving!"

I was talking to a friend last night (ok, not talking, texting; I don't actually talk to anyone, scoff scoff) and we were discussing how much our kids eat. She was telling me about all the frozen pizzas her kiddos went through, and I was telling her about everything mine had demolished (I won by the way; my kids eat more than hers, ha!) I need a second mortgage just to feed these little boogers, never mind clothe them, house them, etc. etc.

Within 24 hours my kids had gone through a gallon of orange juice, a gallon of pink lemonade, almost a whole 32 ounce bag of cereal, half a gallon of milk, a box of pop-tarts (the big box, not the little one, that's like a single serving), half a loaf of bread and 2 sleeves of crackers. And that is not counting whatever I made for dinner, and whatever they may have hidden under their beds that I don't know about. So basically every single day of the week I could go to the grocery store and drop about 20 bucks on extras. That's $140 a week, not including dinner foods like meat and potatoes, paper goods (I should buy stock in a toilet paper company) and all the basics like flour, sugar, ketchup, coffee. They drink like we live in the Sahara, but do they want water? The free stuff that comes out of the faucet? Oh no. Why drink for free when you can spend money on sugared up colored water that I'm sure helped to pay for our dentist's new car??

And don't even get me started on the 14 year old boy. There's nothing 'boy' about his appetite, it's the same as a grown man's. A grown man with 2 stomachs. Who hasn't eaten in a week. When I'm not home he will text me asking what he can eat; um, you're the one at home with the cabinets, look around! But he'll just say: there's nothing to eat...  Well, right, because you already ate everything!

I get really ticked off grocery shopping because it's hard to feed your family healthy foods when you're on a tight budget. I know, not impossible, but definitely hard. I can get a bag of 8 apples for $5 or a box of 10 cupcakes for $1.79. A pound of sliced cheese from the deli for $4.50 or a package of 'processed cheese food slices' for $1.  Fish for $7.99/pound or not very lean ground beef for $3.69/pound. I think a good way to help fight obesity in our country would be to lower the prices of the healthy stuff. Even McDonalds, salad is $4.99 but a double cheeseburger is a buck.

Needless to say I get a little pissy when I see the kids sometimes waste food. When they very quietly get up from the table and walk towards the trash can I know there's stuff about to be dumped that should be being eaten.  And then 20 minutes later it's "what's for dessert?" Um, the rest of that chicken you just threw away. Here's some gloves, dig it out.

The one year old has discovered that the dog is his best friend when it comes to finishing food he doesn't want. She'll eat the Gerber puffs left behind in the seat of his high chair.  Oh well, saves me money on dog food.

Since February vacation is coming up, the kids will be home all week eating all 3 meals here plus infinite snacks. I better start looking around for things to sell to support their snack habit. Maybe Stop & Shop will do a work-trade.,,,,


  1. I complain about how much my young kids eat - now I'm terrified of what I'm in for when they get older!

    I'm with you on the healthy food prices - it's pretty ridiculous and always my biggest excuse for why I haven't started the diet I keep talking about....

    1. Lol Marissa, that works for me too: I can't possibly buy all the good food I need to diet, the kids must have cocoa puffs!